Giant Flatbiller Truck Saturday, August 1, 2009

One of the favorite flatbiller rides is what we like to call the "Giant Bro Truck". Our studies show that 93% of a flatbiller's masculinity comes directly from the space under their truck. This leads them to create monstrous displays of manhood that handle worse than an 18 wheeler on the street, but that will not stop a flatbiller from tailgating you at 80 mph down to the end of the cul-de-sac

Please note that increased off-road performance is not actually the goal of a modified flatbiller truck. A truck such as the one pictured above would not pass even the simplest of off-road challenges, due to it's awkward center of gravity and extreme weight. This does not bother the owner of the Giant Bro Truck, because the most off-roading that it will ever see will be when it runs over a curb in the Supercross parking lot.

Another advantage of having a truck this big: nobody will be able to steal your dirt bike. This allows the flatbiller to leave the dirt bike in their truck seven days a week to show it off at school, thus receiving the coveted "bro nod" from fellow flatbillers.